I'm totally whipped.

My favorite movie is Xanadu. I grew up having birthday parties at the roller skating rink. In fact, I had my 30th birthday party at a roller skating rink, although not many of my friends ended up coming because they realized they didn't allow alcohol on the premises. I own a pair of skates - pretty, white, tall boot skates with pink wheels. I incorporated skates into my Halloween costume a few years ago. It's pretty obvious - I love skating.

I'm good at it, too. I used to win little ribbon awards at the rink when I was younger. Quickest time. Best stops. Best backwards skate. I was pretty much a big deal back in 1984.

I'm a typical "preppy" type of gal. I went to an all-women's college in mid-Missouri. I was in a sorority. Now, I am a business owner. I belong to the Central Exchange here in KC, where I cultivate my network of other businesswomen. I always curl my hair. I always apply at least one layer of hairspray (two or three if it's humid). My nails are always painted. And a few years ago, my friends informed me that they were going to nominate me for TLC's What Not To Wear (due to the fact that they said I dress like a PTA mom, even though I don't have any children). In other words, I'm a square.

About two years ago, I read an article about roller derby and thought how awesome it would be to do it. But then again, I've also thought that it would be fun to get a part-time job at Sonic or Costco (where they encourage their employees to wear skates) or even at the actual roller skating rink. Skating while making some side money? Count me in.

Then I saw Whip It this past year. It reignited the flame. In keeping with my "Type A" personality, I began to research roller derby. I now know the difference between a "flat track" and a "banked track" (the KC league is a part of the Flat Track Derby Association, by the way). I've printed out the rule book. I've watched countless videos illustrating the different types of stops and falls. I've read every article I can get my hands on. And - I've fallen in love with the KC Roller Warriors. I attended their first bout in March at Municipal Auditorium. There are four teams - The Dreadnought Dororthys, The Victory Vixens, The Knockouts and The Black Eyed Susans. I don't even care which team they might put me on . . . I just want to be a part of that culture. I want to be a KC Roller Warrior. I want it so badly, I can taste it.

So I slowly started telling friends and family that I was thinking of trying out. My mother has disowned me ("That is, quite possibly, the most un-Southern and un-feminine thing you could ever do!"). My husband thinks I'm having a midlife crisis. Maybe I am. Perhaps it's more of a pre-pregnancy crisis. I have about 20 friends who are pregnant right now. This is on my bucket list of things to do before I get pregnant, after which you are no longer allowed to be selfish and put your needs and desires first. Several friends think I am nuts. Most laugh as they picture me, in my pink sweater set and pressed trousers, attempting to morph into this badass roller derby chic persona.

Many friends have tried to dissuade me by telling me about broken limbs, bruises and other horror stories they've heard through a friend-of-a-friend. My husband has forwarded me articles about the supplemental insurance policy that I have to take out in order to even try out, let alone participate, and has also pointed out how expensive the skates and gear can be (some quad/speed skates can run up to $500).

A few have been supportive, though. One friend didn't even look up from her salad as I told her. "That makes sense," she said. "You love roller skating. You're a driven business owner. It's not that far of a stretch for you." Love her. Other friends have encouraged me to go through with it, so at least I can say I tried.

I met a KC Roller Warrior out at Skate City a few weeks ago (as I was lightly practicing - basically just trying to get my skate legs back and trying to get my speed up). She had tattoos. She had these awesome, black quad skates with red wheels. She was pretty intimidating. When I told her I was there in an attempt to pre-condition for tryouts later this Fall, she said "Why do you even want to do this? What, did you see the movie Whip It, or something?"

I told her what I've just told you - that I'm having a pre-pregnancy crisis, that I've always loved skating, that I had the urge to do roller derby a couple of years ago, but never acted upon it, and that yes, I did see Whip It a few months ago. "But, more importantly," I said to her, "I don't know if I can do it. And that's why I want to try."

She nodded her head and looked at me with, what I hope, might have been a little bit of derby respect, paused and then said, "OK - here are some of the first things you need to know about derby . . . "

NEXT POSTING: The Draw of Derby (the women, the outfits, the names)

NOTE TO READERS: This blog will follow my "Derby Journey" - including my mentors, my training, my bruises and KC Roller Warrior camp and tryouts this Fall - if I can make it that far.